Best Vacation Ever

I woke up in paradise today. I don't know how they get any work done around here. I find myself simply wandering around and gazing out the windows ...

From the birds who were flitting about in the tree outside the bedroom window ... to the dogs who were resting on the deck ... to the cats who seemed to be the first to sense movement within the house (thus, "breakfast time"!) ... to the simplicity of the blue sky, water and nature all around.

This is the most peaceful I can remember feeling.

Not only does this feel like a piece of heaven right here on earth, but there is something rather serene about knowing there is nothing expected of me other than feeding the pets and ensuring they have water. Their mere presence is payback and then some.

I feel "Mom" so strongly within me right now ...

Mom would love it here. My son has put his blood, sweat and tears into this property and has created a home. This land spoke to him from the time he acquired it, looked onto the horizon and started dreaming of all it could be.

Nothing has come easy. My son cleared and cleaned up the land one step at a time. Clearing the debris and excess; building the white fence that marks this place with his own unique signature; shingling the buildings; excavating his basement; and literally starting from the bottom, up ... he has created "this".

Mom enjoyed the process while my son documented the work involved every step of the way. She came to visit her last trip home. She got to enjoy the process of the evolution and see how far it had come. And it has come so much further.

Two years. Mom has been gone for two years (less a few days). I think of our last visit here and where things were at, at the time. The building blocks were all in place. Step by step, bit by bit, this place has become so much more than it has been.

My son had a calling to call this place "home". I can feel it in every sense of the word. This is THE most home-away-from-home place I have ever been in my life. I feel grounded. I feel safe. I feel enveloped in all things familiar to me. I sense the piece of Dad within my son that helped build this. I feel Mom's appreciation of all that has become.

This is literally the best vacation. Ever.

Could I Please Have Two More Hours?

Remember the bonus two hours I wrote about in my previous post? I guess I must have needed them because I am still falling behind by two hours or so.

Two unexpected errands on my way home wiped out my memory of the two errands I had planned to run. Whoops.

I may (or may not have) remembered except for the fact that I came home and the lawn still needed to be mowed.

It was 8:30 p.m. and I finally walked in the door.

Instead of doing all the things I had planned to do, I climbed into my pajamas and snuggled up in front of the TV. The end.

I thought waking up at 4:00 this morning would give me the bonus hour I needed. I was wrong.

It has been twelve hours since yesterday wound down to a close. I could sure use a few more hours before this day kicks into gear.

Two bonus hours would be very nice right about now. Serves me right. I shouldn't have frittered away last night. No one to blame but myself.

I'm just glad it's Friday.

Happy Long Weekend to All!! May you enjoy your bonus day!!!

Two Hours

I got off work two hours early yesterday and it felt like I gained a day.

I not only had time to run an errand on my way home but I was home in time for supper. Energized by being home so early, I did a load of laundry, vacuumed the basement, cooked up some chicken and tended "cat chores" to make this morning run a little smoother.

It was so easy to hop out of bed this morning without "all of the above" looming over my head and beckoning to be done before I left for work today.

It feels good to wake up to a clean slate. This morning was all about list-making and getting everything that needs to be done before the weekend, done.

There are so many loose ends to tie up. At home and at work. It was a very good day to have two extra hours at my disposal.

For me, ambition often results in more ambition.

What did I do with all the nooks and crannies this morning? I cleaned our square kitchen sink [side note: if you use your kitchen for more ornamental and serviceable purposes, I don't know if you may want one for regular kitchen usage]; I cleaned the crevices of our printer; I sorted/organized our freezer foods a little; I washed another load of laundry; and basically started crossing a few things off my list of tomorrow's things-to-do list.

It seems to matter not, what time I try to create for myself in the morning, I can fritter it away like nobody's business [hmmm ... if it's nobody's business, why am I writing about it?].

I love my mornings. This morning was especially enjoyable due to the two bonus hours I had at my disposal yesterday.

How can we create those "bonus hours" for ourselves? Perhaps that is why some stay up late at night and others get up earlier in the morning. Maybe that is why we sleep in, run late and rush to do too many things in too short of a time period.

If we don't intentionally create the time we need, we make do in other ways.

For me, getting up early is where it's at. But the gift of two unexpected hours off of work is a gift like no other. I'm glad I didn't waste it.

A Fan

Jet has become one of my biggest fans. This cat is so smart, I think he can read ...

Either that or he likes the attention he receives by hanging out so close to a spot where my hands are readily available to pet him. Or because the computer emits some heat. Or perhaps he is just watching the cursor on the screen move about.

But I like to think he is one of my biggest fans. I'll stick with that.

I Like Wednesdays

My morning thoughts this mid-week morning were so much lighter than the days that proceeded it. I like the "lightness" Wednesday brings into my life.

Don't get me wrong. Wednesday is not my favorite day of the week. I simply like it. Any weekday I can actually "like" is a good one.

Wednesday marks the half way point to everything I count as important. My work week is cut in half. The days I have to accomplish what I'd like to accomplish before the weekend are coming to an end.

Deadlines energize me. Wednesday is all about what needs to be done within the next few days. As much as I fight this, I know I need cut off dates looming otherwise I can drift through the days without purpose.

First days deplete me. The first of "anything" feels overwhelming and I'd run for cover if I could. From Mondays to starting a task that overwhelms me.

Sometimes waking up to a weekday is enough to make me want to hide under the covers all day. But the moment my feet hit the floor and I start taking one step in the direction I need to go, the feeling starts to subside. A bit. When I get myself knee deep into the morning/the day/a task (that part where there is no going back, you can only go forward), is when I feel the energized me start to conquer the overwhelmed and defeated parts of myself.

"You have started. You did the hardest part. All you have to do is keep taking one step in a forward direction and you will be further ahead than where you were. Just get past the hardest part ... the beginning."

These are the words I feel within me when I'm in the middle. This can overwhelm me and stop me in my tracks but even if it does, I have the knowledge that I'm further ahead than I was when I began. Starting from the middle or anywhere further along than the beginning is a little bit easier. Sometimes. Not always. But enough of the time that I know getting past the beginning is the biggest hurdle for me.

That is where "Wednesday" comes into play. I'm past the beginning of everything. The end goal is in sight. Whether it is a project at work I must complete before the weekend or a welcome diversion from the tedium of the week or simply "Saturday".

Wednesday is the point in the week where I am in the middle of the hard stuff and half way through to my reward.

What will I do when I don't have work to give my weeks definition? Will I have the stamina to create my own deadlines and reestablish a routine where I don't simply sit back and watch life go by?

I believe that is why I am craving a holiday without defined plans. I want to know who I am when I am no one to anyone. Just me.

I was very much looking forward to taking a week off with nothing more on my agenda than being still. Though I do not define myself as being busy, I do have a rather "committed" life. The week is not my own. I give that away to others (the reward to that is that I do get paid for my sacrifice so I guess that is a small price to pay). But my weekends? I love them free and clear and easy.

Life has been far too committed lately. I am so looking forward to the quiet. I am half way there. I am half way to nowhere and everywhere at the same time. The heaviness of "the beginning" is lighter. I see light at the end of my week.

I remember Mom commenting (seemingly out of the blue, but it was deep in the consciousness of her thoughts), "I like Tuesdays. [pause] I like Wednesdays too, but I like Tuesday." I'm pretty sure I have remembered this right because I remember asking if it was because Tuesday used to be her bowling day. She pondered the idea and thought maybe ... but she just really liked Tuesdays. I think she followed that up by saying Sunday was her least favorite day of the week.

Mom never worked outside the home but she worked hard within her home. She went to sleep at night, mapping out the next days agenda. I'm guessing this was a habit instilled early in her life but she held onto it throughout the duration. It is a good habit to have.

I feel my agenda is defined by other's needs right now. It is to a point, but my destiny is in my own hands. It is what I do with the hours before and after my regularly scheduled day that defines me.

I am without definition at times. I am wandering. I know where I am at is not going to last forever. Life as I know it could change in a heartbeat for any number of reasons. Yet here I am, 59 years into living this life of mine, and I'm still living for the weekend.

It's Wednesday today. I'm halfway into and through the week at hand. I like Wednesdays.

What is your "favorite day"? May you find something you like about each day of the week but for reasons that are yours and yours alone ... what is your favorite?

Morning Pages

Julia Cameron will be speaking at a writing workshop I will be attending. My friend once mentioned the "morning pages" Julia perscribes as part of the journey to finding your way, so I skimmed through the pages of my new book by Julia until I found the chapter on morning pages.

Julia suggests writing your morning thoughts on three, 8-1/2 by 11" pages of long hand writing. What you write doesn't matter. It is simply a matter of purging your thoughts in long hand. Every morning.

I read this chapter yesterday morning and decided to write three pages then and there. They were not my early morning thoughts but they were still morning thoughts. I thought the best way to start a habit is "now". So that is what I did.

Last night, I sat my journal with my favorite new pen slid into the coils beside my bed so I could simply wake up and write.

I forgot I was going to do this until my waking thoughts started sounding like to-do-lists and I thought "Hey! I should write this down!!" So I did.

I'm not sure if I like how I sound in the morning. It has only been one true morning of writing the thoughts I think upon waking so I am curious to see how this journey goes.

Three pages of long hand writing is time consuming. I woke up some time after 5 a.m. and I didn't finish my morning writing assignment until 5:46. It is now 7:30 and I could use just a little more sleep before I plunge into the day ahead of me.

After two days of writing I have already noticed something. When my thoughts are centred in the past or the future, I feel ill at ease. It is when I am living in the moment I am in when I feel content.

Then again, there is nothing quite like focusing on the moment you are in when your hand starts cramping after writing three pages without the aid of a keyboard.

Life is full of lessons. Perhaps the lesson I am learning is focusing on the moment I'm in. Letting go of regret and worry is key to a healthy state of mind. This is why gratitude is crucial to this illusive thing called "happiness". The state of being grateful aligns the past, present and future into thoughts that are more cohesive and focused in the moment.

I think I need to gaze out the window and watch nature for a while. That exercise brings me back into the moment in a way I enjoy the most.

This is far too deep for early morning thoughts. I need to leave those on my three pages of long hand and leave the light and frivolous for "here".

So Glad to Be Home

Today is "my day". The calendar is empty. No outbound emails, calls or reservations need to be made. No appointments (inbound or outbound). I believe the world around me is at peace and no one needs a piece of me.

It was a very committed weekend. It was all good and I enjoyed everything I did, everyone I spent time with and even an unexpected visit with an aunt and uncle I wouldn't have had if I had stayed home.

It was good.

But I just want to wrap myself up into a little cocoon and hang out on the couch today. I have seven hours to do with as I please.

I am socially spent. I just need a little alone time. Seven hours ought to do it.

What do you need today? I hope you can grab a big enough piece of whatever it  is that sustains you (yes, chocolate counts!).

It feels like a "third cup of coffee" kind of day. Happy Monday!

... four more days to go ...

The Traces We Leave Behind

There is little one can do without leaving traces of where you have been these days ...

Our updated home monitoring system notifies me when the system is armed/unarmed and also when doors are open; left open; and closed. I have proof of the minute I walk out of the house to when I re-enter.

Add to that, the ability to see exactly when and for how long I may have talked with someone on my cell phone; time stamps on store receipts and text messages and I can account for my actions for pretty much the grand total of yesterday.

I left the house at 8:07 a.m.; arrived to donate blood at 8:26 (I happened to remember the exact time because I was one minute late for my 8:25 appointment); my actual "bleed time" was 11 minutes; add two minutes wait time to that and I have accounted for most of my time there; I stopped at Staples and paid for my purchase at 9:22 a.m.; determined I had enough time to stop in at Winners and see if I could find anything. Thankfully I received a text message at 9:25 a.m. so I immediately finalized my shopping experience and paid for that at 9:26 a.m.; then called the person who texted me at 9:29 a.m.; talked for 21 minutes and 19 seconds; then arrived at my son's farm at exactly 10:31 (still running a minute late, as I was invited to arrive at 10:30 a.m.). I came straight home from my son's and (finally) arrived back home at 3:26 p.m.

I spoke to my younger son for a while then at 6:46 activated the hallway motion detector as I got ready to leave the house to meet a few friends for coffee at 7:15 p.m. I received a text from my friend warning me to bring my sweater because it could be cold in the coffee shop as I was driving up at 7:10 p.m.; and I didn't get back home until 10:28 p.m.; at which time I immediately set the alarm for the night and didn't rearm it until 7:02 this morning.

I could go on and on (and on) but you get the picture. Every where you are, you leave a trace of yourself behind. Evidence of where you have been, what you have done there and security cameras see more than I care to think about.

The traces we leave behind as we walk through our day is scary. If a person truly wanted to fall off the grid, it would take a lot of planning.

On the flip side, if I ever go missing it is a small comfort to know my whereabouts could be narrowed down so easily. I can't wait to fall off the grid when I stay at my son's farm. These connections are making my head spin.

A Deck Story

Here is a boring little story about the evolution of our deck. It isn't too interesting so I will let the pictures tell the story and will keep my comments to a minimum.

The Beginning

A two level, open concept deck. From 1994 to 2012, "this" was our deck:

After replacing almost each and every deck board over the course of time, our deck was rotting from the bottom up. My Second Son offered to build a one level deck. He started and finished the job one weekend while I was away:

September, 2012

It is very nice, isn't it?

Sept 3 2012

We got talking about the ugly step and my son ever so generously offered to alter the existing deck so decking replaced the step. Awesome! There was a slight glitch in spacing of the top step but we deemed it "good enough" and carried on.

Sept 16, 2012

Over the winter, we devised a plan to turn the deck area into a penned dog area. Phase one of this plan was to build a deck railing:

April 29, 2013

Voila!! My son commited yet another weekend and look at the progress:

May 2, 2013

Phase 2 of this plan was to enlarge a "dog run" area beside the house:

May 28, 2013

... and create a gating system where we could pen the dogs just in the "dog area" alone or give them access to the back door/gate area as well. This worked like a charm:

May 28, 2013

Six years after the deck was built, I FINALLY stained it. It felt brand new again. I was very pleased with our renewed deck:

August 5, 2019

Then five days later, came "The Fall". After years of warning people to watch their step due to the spacing on the deck stairs, my almost-90 year old uncle fell. Thankfully he came out relatively unscathed but my guilt factor was high. I may have wrote a little blog about it ...

Less than two weeks later, I came home to this:

August 23, 2019

The mis-spaced stair situation has been corrected and our deck is a legitimately safe place to walk.

Except seven years of memorizing the need to allow for the mis-spaced step is engrained deeply into my muscle memory. My knees go to jelly each time I step up or down our new and improved steps. I just may be the first to fall down our new steps. But I will be the last to complain. I promise!

I am so pleased our steps are up to "code" still looking mighty fine after a few minor adjustments to the existing decking.

I am eternally grateful.

Belonging

As I walk into the worlds of my two senior friends, I am now greeted by those whose path I cross as I make my way into the day.

Warm smiles and friendly greetings have evolved into brief conversations which let me know they know who I "belong" to.

I remember well, the way I felt after Mom died. Mom had been my primary focus for a while and I felt lost at sea without her. I wandered through my days without a purpose. Wise people within my world reminded me of the others who were coming to rely on my presence.

It wasn't the same. Running out to Mom's became my norm. I gained as much as I gave throughout those visits. No matter how Mom was feeling (and she put on a very brave front), she was still "Mom" to me. I relaxed in my role of daughter and simply helped out wherever I could when I was with her.

I got to go home, sleep in my old room, wake up to toast and coffee with Mom and simply feel all the creature comforts of being home.

They say you can't go home again but there certainly was a feeling of homecoming throughout those many trips to Mom's.

Now I can literally not go home again. It is okay. We are moving on and through this phase in a way that honors what we once had but recognizes the need to move forward.

Two years ago, unbeknownst to us at the time, we were walking through our final weeks with Mom. Our sibling connection was strong and united. We "team tagged" our way through. We each had our individual strengths and I believe we were all relieved to know we had each other's backs.

Last fall, we took a sister road trip to meet up with our brother for a brief weekend visit. We rented a condo and created a home away from Mom's. A place where we could simply sit back, relax and visit like we had at Mom's only one year prior.

This year, we have reserved another pseudo-home away from home. This one is close to Mom's neighborhood and her old stomping grounds. We shall simply do what we did last year except we have an extra day and we could actually walk to Mom's from where we will be staying.

I was lost but now I am found.

I felt lost after Mom died but I have found my way to a new normal and a new place within this world of ours where I belong.

It is small but it is huge. It is a gift but it comes with the price of knowing nothing lasts forever. I belong but I have lost the title of "daughter" no matter who in the world mothers me. I am grateful to hold tight to my title "sister" ...

I cannot imagine how Mom must have felt when she was the only surviving child of her parents. Even though she was the mother of four; grandmother of fourteen; and great grandmother of twenty three ... she was the sole survivor of those who shared those memories from their childhood home.

There is nothing quite like the feeling of being with people with whom you share a history. The knowing looks, the inside jokes, things that don't even have to be said but if they are, no elaboration is necessary. There is a sense of "knowing" that goes beyond words.

When we have this, we are rich. This feeling of familiarity, of belonging, of being part of a whole ... it is a gift money can't buy. Perhaps this is why I continue to seek out ways to "belong" within this world of ours.

Maybe this is why the Hawaiian word "Ohana" speaks to me. "The word 'ohana' means family in the Hawaiian language, but in a much wider sense, to include not only one's closer relatives, but also one's cousins, in-laws, friends, race, and other neighbours." ~ https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohana

This feeling of connection and belonging is so much more than blood ties that bond us. It is the connection we make with those who feel like family to us.

I truly believe we all seek that sense of "belonging". Where we look for that connection is as individual to each one of us. Look for the connections within your life. Honor them. Nurture them. Find comfort within that which grounds you. Whether it is family, friendship, pets, nature or simply within yourself. Seek out that which makes you feel part of a whole and nurture that part within yourself.

I shall end this with words from Maya Angelou on belonging:

“You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all.” ~ Maya Angelou, Conversations with Maya Angelou

Back to Balancing the Budget (again)

I do believe that we unintentionally recreate our past with each forward step we take throughout our lives.

I have recreated a situation within my finances where I am falling short of what I need. I seem to need less to create more.

In short, I have been spending more than I have been earning. It is as simple as that. I have created a shortage in my funds which feels familiar and comfortable. Is this why we keep recreating our past? Because it is simply what we "know", so we keep heading down the same path over and over again?

I am not a big fan of change but honestly? Recreating the financial rut I'm facing is so avoidable.

I sat down with pen and paper this morning and wrote a list of Budgeting Goals. One year from now, I do NOT want to be where I am today. I want to have saved for the house insurance; I plan to put aside all my vacation pay so I actually HAVE some vacation pay when I take some time off; I need to save more for income taxes than I have been so I'm ready for the tax man in April.

I must get in the habit of SAVING. Just a little off the top. "Pay yourself first" is the motto my financial planning courses taught me. Apparently I am not a very good student. I forgot that simple rule.

Home renovations and maintenance have ruled my life for the majority of this year in progress. Our house had been neglected for eleven years so if I was to divide this grand total by eleven, it wouldn't seem so bad. Perhaps that is exactly what I need to do to create a "home maintenance" space in my budget. While I'm at it, I should create a "car maintenance" account too.

Here I go again. If I follow through with all of these plans I will feel eternally "broke".

Less is more, Mom always said. I'm livin' the dream!!

Booked!

Whew!! All decisions have been made and I have committed to booking and paying for everything that is up and coming within the next few months. That felt hard.

I have committed to three separate out-of-town experiences which will all take place within a one month space of time. Three completely and totally different experiences - all of which will be thoroughly enjoyable. Of this, I am certain.

#1 - A sister road trip to spend some time with our brother. We are staying close to Mom's home turf. Focus is on family, visiting and simply enjoying the moments. Perfection!

#2 - A writing workshop with a few close friends. A full day workshop with friends who feel like sisters to me. This is a recipe for a very good day. This will be followed the next day with a dinner theater experience with another sister-friend who introduced me to this unique kind of fun. Excellent!

#3 - A birthday gathering for an uncle who is incredibly special to me. I will be minus the comfort of being among my own siblings but this will open the door to a cousin bonding experience which I feel sure I will never regret.

All accommodations are now booked. I booked my flight this morning.

I am shaking in my boots a tiny little bit. This is an awful lot of commitment to spending time away from home. It is compounded by an extraordinary amount of spending.

I can't wait to pay for all of this. Between home renovations/maintenance, compounded with an unexpected car repair and the addition of three separate away-from-home excursions, my credit cards are begging to be left alone. They are smokin' hot from all the activity of late.

My most anticipated holiday is the one that will cost the least. I'm spending the weekends out at my son's farm in his absence. I anticipate the company of his farm full of furry friends and more quiet than I will know what to do with. No booking required.

**This little post with no life lesson attached is brought to you courtesy of the aftermath of committing fully to all of the above**

Commitment is a hard but necessary part of living. And that is all I know about that.

Balancing to Zero

I wiped our white board clean yesterday. Ever since I got the great idea of  maintaining our house's exterior this spring, there has been (what has felt like) an eternal list of people coming and going to tend to our home's needs. As of yesterday, we are DONE.

One quiet Monday in April (April 29th to be exact), I started making inquiries. Sixteen weeks later, it is done. Over. Complete.

There is nothing that pleases me more than to clean off the eternal to-do-list on that white board. Now I can fill it up with the fun stuff which awaits.

Other than donating blood in four days, my list now includes: a play; a few weekend retreats at my son's farm; a sibling trip; an out of town writing workshop; an out of province birthday celebration; and yet another play. Each one of these events is sprinkled generously with a good balance of friends, solitude, family, creativity and celebration.

As much as I know I will enjoy each and every one of these occasions, there is still a part of me that is looking forward to "wiping the slate clean" again.

I have over extended my spending allowance. As good as it felt to wipe our white board clean, I am more anxious to pay off each and every one of these expenditures and bring the amount owing to zero.

Now I just have to wipe my debt clean and I can start all over again.

It's all about "balancing to zero". I guess I was destined to work with numbers. They rule my life.

What is your balancing point? I believe we all have something that drives us and pushes us into and through our lives. I truly believe life is all about checks and balances. Keeping the work to play; the socializing to solitude; and all other factors in life in balance keeps one walking a straight line. Too much of any one thing is not ideal.

May you find what brings your life into balance. If not today, some day soon ...

Best. Day. Ever!!

I was gone from home almost exactly 24 hours. I spent the day with my sisters. It was the best day ever!!

It starts from the moment "go" with these girls I am lucky enough to call sisters. I walked in the door and it was just that easy. All I had to do was show up. And there they were.

I can't begin to think of all we talked about. Everything. Nothing. Everything in between. It felt as though we could have gone on for days simple enjoying each other's company, listening to each other and feeling at ease to talk about anything.

The visit was seasoned generously with laughter and joy. There were serious moments as well. "Just wait! I'm telling a story..." was a line (slightly paraphrased) which encapsulated the relationship we are lucky enough to share. We sat still and listened to each other's stories.

Oh, to be still. To be still and listen. To have someone to sit still and listen to your stories. It is a gift like no other.

I came home and simply wanted to be still with the afterglow of our visit. I didn't want to write. I didn't want to check on messages. I didn't want to vacuum. I simply wanted to hold onto the embers of a most incredible 24 hours.

Our next hope is to take this trio of talkative sisters on the road and meet up with our brother. We hate to think he may be missing out on this family bonding time. We simply want to ensure the four of us continue to nurture this bond we are fortunate enough to share.

Suddenly, a line from the movie "Lilo and Stitch" comes to mind: 

"Ohana ... means family. Family means no one gets left behind. Or forgotten."

Ohana

"Ohana is an idea in Hawaiian culture. The word "ohana" means family in the Hawaiian language, but in a much wider sense, to include not only one's closer relatives, but also one's cousins, in-laws, friends, race, and other neighbours. The idea is also that family and friends are bound together and everyone must work together and not forget each other." ~ https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohana

At one point in our recent sister-visit, the three of us were sitting around the kitchen table when my sister's husband joined in the conversation for a while. My sister married the brother of Mom's sister's husband (Got that? My sister had an aunt who was also her sister-in-law? Clearer? Nope? I'm moving on anyway)...

I had visions of Mom sitting at her sister's kitchen table with her sisters once upon a lifetime ago. I could envision three sisters visiting among themselves with my uncle (my sister's husband's brother) walking in on the conversation. Suddenly I had a feeling of life repeating itself. The essence of Mom and her sisters is woven deeply into the tapestry of our lives. But it was the presence of my sister's husband that made me reflect on the parallel path we are living. 

We spoke of "thinking of Mom and Dad moments". Little things that bring them into our thoughts. Sitting at the table with my sisters brought Mom into my very being. I believe that is why our brother's presence is what I am craving. I yearn for that piece of Dad to join us as we merge our past lives with our future. 

"The idea is also that family and friends are bound together and everyone must work together and not forget each other." I like that idea. I like it very much!

I'm Off to See My Sisters!!!

I am headed off to see my sisters today. I am energized and excited knowing "this" is what I have to look forward to this weekend!

I woke up at 5:30 this morning with the thought "You won't get this time back" chiming through my thoughts. Then I fast forwarded to the day I saw before me. I want to feel rested and restored. I thought this thought and got up an hour later. Good enough! There were things I wanted to do before I leave.

I can tell where my state of mind is at by how I define the "hard things" I must do in a day. This morning, I knocked off those little tasks off my list and had energy to spare so I cleaned up my car a little.

Oh car of mine, what to do? What to do??

This car and I have bonded over the course of the last 61,000+ kms together. This is the car that drove me through "The Year of Mom". Oh, the hours we have spent together. The sister trips back and forth to Mom's. The music that has spoken to me through the radio during every season of my life. I've grown rather fond of this set of wheels.

My mechanic planted a seed of doubt when I last saw him. He told me what repair to expect next. I can most likely drive a long while before I must decide what course of action I must take but he's got me thinking. A new-to-me car? Or do I keep fixing this one?

It's hard on gas. It has blind spots where I feel I can't see properly. It is just a little larger than I would like. It still carries the scars from the hit and run accident while it was sitting there minding its own business while I was at work. 

But I like it. I have grown to trust it. I do not want to spend money on a vehicle (home renovation and maintenance is where it's "at" for me!).

As I vacuumed and tidied up my car, I couldn't help but think of the good times we've shared. Where do we go from here? I'm grateful I don't have to decide right away. I want to drive off into the sunset with my trusty steed and simply let things fall where they may.

I am anticipating my drive today. I can't wait to hit the road and steer myself towards my sisters. The one and only thing that could make this day any better? If it included our brother. Maybe next time ...

I'm off to see my sisters! And oh, what a day we will have!!!

If You Share It ... They Will Come

The essence of "The Field of Dreams" runs rampant through my life. I hear the words "If you build it, they will come" whisper through my subconscious thoughts when I find myself in a position to share whatever it may be that I have to offer.

I took a detour as I searched my blog with "Field of Dreams" and took an enjoyable walk down memory lane as I scanned through several previous posts supporting the theory that I just may be dreaming up this life of mine. If I dream something up, "they" very often come.

My most recent revelation is not quite so deep. It stems from the excessive amount of groceries I bought for a family gathering of "twenty". I bought enough groceries to feed double that amount. I felt an incredible amount of angst as I gazed into the fridge and saw all the perishable food that had to be consumed.

I immediately started issuing invitations.

I fed five for supper the following day and sent a bag of fresh vegetables home with one. The day after that, my aunt ended up with unexpected supper guests. "Let's go for a drive!" I said and we came back here to pick up enough to feed four. I bought potato salad that came highly recommended by a friend, so I shared it with that friend and fed one more. My son has been eating very well this week and my lunches have consisted of more than granola bars. The excess has been reduced to an amount that can easily be consumed before the "best before" date.

The panic I felt as I gazed upon the excessive amount of groceries has given extra life to one invitation I issued to many. The excess has given me the gift of prolonging the gift of family, invitations and the opportunity to live in my field of dreams again. If I share it ... they will come.

Amazing things can happen when a door is opened for others to walk into whatever you may have to offer. It can be as simple as a cold glass of water on a hot day or time to share with someone who needs a shoulder to lean on.

If you open yourself up to allow people into your world, you too could be living in your field of dreams.

One of My Most Favorite Things

My new kettle just makes me happy!

Ahhh ... to be able to sit still with a third cup of coffee on a day off is an elusive dream of mine.

The morning has been filled with detours and all I have time to do is to anticipate a day when the morning is mine, to spend as I please.

"Patience, young grasshopper. Patience."
~ quote from TV show "Kung Fu"

Jamais vu

I was looking through my pictures to depict the feeling of gratitude and quiet joy I feel in my heart this morning. This post was initially going to be of a "gratitude journal" type of theme. 

Then I stumbled upon these eerily similar photos: 

April 25, 2017 7:07 a.m.

August 11, 2019 8:28 a.m.

"Hmmm, Ray. I feel like we've been here before," wordlessly communicated by Jet (who I now realize should have been named "Déjà vu" as he was a mirror image of our cat, André who died a few months prior to Jet's adoption).

October 16, 2013 8:06 a.m.

(Ray is still resting in his "usual" spot, while André rests on the carpet)

Do you think cats have those déjà vu moments too? Or do you think a cat feels like their entire life is on repeat day after day after day? It's no wonder our bored little kitty (Jet) is always stirring up trouble around here. He's tired of living a life where every day feels the same.

Jet is pursuing a life of jamais vu (the feeling that something familiar appears strange and unfamiliar; it is the opposite of déjà vu ~ as defined by quora.com).

May you have a day filled with moments of familiarity, mixed with a renewed perspective to keep your life feeling fresh and new. Happy Jamais Vu to you!!

You Won't Get This Time Back

My eyes popped open and I saw the time. Rather than play the game of "How long can I stay in bed and still get out the door in time?", the words "You won't get this half hour back!" spoke to me. I hopped out of bed and was grateful I hadn't frittered away that precious time.

The very next day, I couldn't sit still without falling asleep because I had been playing the game of "You won't get this half hour back!" for a bit too long and exhaustion ruled the day.

What is most important? The rest one gains by sleeping in? The extra solitude that half hour provides? What one can accomplish with that extra time? Or is sleeping simply a coping mechanism?

I have had far too many days when I didn't want to wake up to another day. The days that are challenging to walk through are days I'd rather stay in bed.

So many of my days were just like after "The Year of Mom". After Mom died and all that was pertaining to wrapping up her life, her home and estate was done, I wandered aimlessly through my days for a very (very) long time.

The first year was tough. Something clicked within that second year without Mom. Life had moved on without her. My thoughts weren't consumed with her. I felt lighter.

Even after the heaviness of the prior year started to lighten, I wasn't back to my old self. Living for the weekends became my goal. What did I do with my weekends? As little as humanly possible. "This isn't living" were the words that haunted my thoughts. These were some of the very last words Mom spoke ...

It has taken far longer than I would have predicted but I think I'm back. Back to where, I'm not certain. But I'm back to a better place.

Home renovations have been a game changer. It changed my focal point and forced me to get things done. Even though other people did 99% of the work around here, I still had to clear out spaces, clean up the work-in-progress and reorganize those spaces when the job was done. Then came that feeling of "Ahhh ... let's just sit back and appreciate at all that has been done."

Mom's home was her castle. She put a lot of her energy into putting her visions into reality. The projects became smaller as the years went on but as long as she had dreams, she had life.

One time in particular, we were concerned about Mom living on her own after a health scare. She didn't even waste her time and energy fighting us. She simply said she had some leftover paint, she was pretty sure it would be enough to paint the bathroom and she asked (suggested?) that my sister could do that for her. "She's not moving." We knew.

One of her last renovations was one she had thought about for a long time. Turning the divider in the living room into a bookcase. Mom loved her books. She had an insatiable quest for knowledge and constantly challenged her memory by reciting poems, songs and quotes from her childhood readers. She found several of those readers over the course of time. The last time I spent with her, those readers were her reading material of choice.

Mom's bookcase was one of her last and most appreciated renovations. Well, that and her sun room of course. I will forever think of Mom with a book at her side, enjoying her sun room ...

When it came time to sort through and divide Mom's belongings, she had written a list of the rooms in her home, with one of our names beside each room. The sun room had my name on it. I also ended up with her library. When I started thinking renovation thoughts, the driving force behind it all was to turn "Mom's Room" (the room she slept in when she came here) into a "Sunny Room". A room filled with natural light, which would house and display her books. My dream has yet to come to fruition.

Of all the renovating that has been done, Mom's library has been left to the last. Her books are stored in the laundry room, waiting for their new home. The room designated as "Mom's Room" has lost its identity. We call it a den. I keep the door closed so the cats don't wreck Mom's love seat and shed all over it.

I sat in Mom's room on the weekend. I was in a state of exhaustion and my thoughts were too scattered to appreciate the view. I want to create an oasis within our home in a manner that fills me the way Mom's sun room and library fulfilled and energized her. For Mom, it was books and reading. For me, it is writing. I believe the key to good writing is to fill yourself up with knowledge, different perspective and new ideas. Mom's books are a source "all of the above".

The tides are turning. I have been hopping out of bed with the words "You won't get this time back" whispering through my subconsciousness. I know I must do more than I have been doing. Living a life with purpose is key to living a good life.

It has been a purposeful time around here lately. With great purpose came great spending. I feel my primary purpose for the short term is to repay the debt I have accumulated this past month. According to my calculations, if all goes as planned (and it won't), I should be in the clear by May, 2020.

No matter where things go from here, living by the simple credo "You won't get this time back" must guide me to where I need to go. Yes, some of that time must be spent in a restorative and restful manner. What I have noticed lately is the energy I do have on hand after my most primal need for rest, solitude and restoration have been satiated. There is life after 7:00 p.m.

It is time to move on and through and into whatever comes next. I just hope whatever is next doesn't have a price tag attached. I'm just a little overextended. Perhaps that is why I prefer to just stay in bed. It's a pretty cheap hobby.

The Goldilocks Zone

The party is over and now is time to deal with the excess.

Step one of dealing with the excess food was pretty easy. I issued supper invitations which were clearly labelled "left-overs" so no one came expecting more than was offered. That part was actually quite fun.

Excess exhaustion? That was pretty easy to deal with as well. I parked myself on the lawn swing with a few magazines and a Smirnoff Ice. In no time at all, I was 100% relaxed. The next thing I knew, I was waking up. Part Two was falling into a deep, deep slumber the moment my head hit the pillow last night. It was a sleep-through-a-ringing-phone kind of tired.

Excessive cat hair which amassed while house cleaning got put to the bottom of the list was dealt with before I sat down last night. "You don't want to deal with this in the morning" was my sage advise to myself. I was right.

Excessive spending spiralled out of control when an unexpected car repair got tossed into the mix. My head is spinning with the dollars that have been amassing on my credit card(s). Houston, I think we have a problem.

Excessive thinking? I think my brain finally turned off last night. It felt good to have a thoughtless slumber.

Excessive after-hours-chores? That is a little something I need to incorporate into my daily living. Within reason. I have accomplished a lot around here since our house painters finished their work two weeks ago. There is no reason I can't keep the momentum going. None.

Too much of any one thing is not good. Moderate amounts of all of the above is fine. Groceries, spending, housecleaning, work, worry and leisure. It is all about finding the balance where everything feels in alignment. The Goldilocks Zone. 

Post Gathering De-Briefing

I'm talking myself down this morning after hosting a family gathering here yesterday. I did some things right but there is a list of things to do better for next time.

I issued a mass invitation to our family about a month ago. After all was said and done, twenty people attended. The gathering was a pre-birthday celebration for my uncle who will be turning 90 in a few months.

The numbers started fluctuating a bit as the date neared. This was possibly the catalyst for the slight panic I felt when picking up groceries...

In the aftermath, I have a mental list of what did right and will do again. Another list of lessons learned:

• I WILL issue "Just bring yourself"!! invitations again. I was pleased when I heard people's reactions to this. It is the type of invitation I find easiest to say "yes" to and I was delighted to discover I am not alone.
• I WILL NOT purchase groceries for such an event without a detailed and well planned out list. I panicked in the grocery store. I bought far too much perishable food. I hope I learned this lesson well!
• I DID set up a "serve yourself" drink station. Everything was accessible for people to help themselves to a beverage of their choosing. 
• I served people anyway. I need to redesign the flow of things if when I do this again...
• I WILL rent tables and chairs if the group exceeds our present seating capacity. There is nothing quite like the feeling of "sitting at the kitchen table" to instil easy conversation AND it is so very much better than trying to balance your plate on your lap while you eat.
• I DID NOT clean the entire house before this event. I WILL do that again in the future!!
• Despite the fact that seating was set up in a few different areas of the yard, people did not tend to leave the pack because it was too segregated. 
• Future (future!) renovation plans: create an "open concept" back yard (or invite less people over at one time).
• I updated a few items to help out with serving large groups. I am not certain the cold beverage dispenser was a necessity (but it was very handy). 
• I DID buy a new kettle which absolutely excites me (despite my best efforts to clean our old one, I couldn't completely eliminate the limescale deposits and large chunks would escape from time to time). That one definitely comes out as a "Win!"
• I WILL wear comfortable shoes!! I have wrecked my feet this summer by wearing sandals that do not accommodate the orthotics I have for my shoes. It hurts to walk. Even in the house. Except if I wear my foot friendly sandals. I haven't had "bad feet" stories for a very long time. Happy feet make the world of difference.
• I'm GLAD I made the time to color my hair. I made this decision at 9:30 p.m., the night before the gathering. I thought I may be a little insane to prioritize that little task but that small bit of pampering gave me what I needed to walk through the day without worrying about the small stuff (now, if only I had taken a few seconds to pluck those stray chin hairs I just discovered).
• I AM going to get something done about our hazardous deck stair. I warned people all day to be careful of the not-to-code spacing of the top step. We made it to the final ten minutes. I congratulated  the last of my guests just before they headed for home. My final warning was, "We made it through the day. Now just be careful when you leave...". It was only minutes later when I heard the crash. Our guest of honor took a tumble. Thankfully he fell onto the deck and not down the steps. His head took the brunt of his fall. I just checked in on him this morning. No black eye, no indication of any serious injury, "... just a bit of road rash" was the update.

All in all, when I have mental flashbacks of the day I have visions of the conversations I saw out of the corner of my eye. I can see our guest of honor talking with various family members one-on-one. Groupings of cousins chatting easily. Uncles who seemed to be just plain happy to be gathered together in amongst family. 

But the unsung hero of the day? My youngest son. He was my silent helper, quietly making his mark without making a sound. He did so much without me saying a word. He did so much more when I'd ask him to do a favor. He was the behind the scenes guy who cleaned things up, put that which was not being used away, restored order in every sense of the word and DID NOT stop until he saw that I was done. "I don't want to leave you alone with this," he said without a second thought.

There was not a thing my son did to bring attention to his actions but people noticed. I was calmed by his presence and the ease with which he just "knew" what to do.

I look at the generations of extended family which filled our home yesterday and my heart is simply happy. 

I think of my grandparents who instigated this gathering. If they could be watching over us, I think their hearts would be as full as mine. 

I think of the uncles, aunts and parents who are no longer with us and hope they can feel this incredible sense of "family" and see what has passed through the generations. 

I think of my son and I feel hope. The new generation is carrying the torch. I see light when I think of the ways of family and kindness are being passed down along the line.

I think of yesterday and I am grateful. Simply grateful.

Looking on the Bright Side

Luck is all in the way you spin a tale. Speaking of tales, I have one to spin with you this morning. I can only see the good in the way this sequence of events played out. What do you see?

I was on the last lap of my drive home from work a few nights ago when a whiff of antifreeze scent, quickly followed by steam coming out from under my hood happened moments before the light turned green.

I couldn't abandon the car in an intersection so I drove onward.

Dad's words came to me immediately. "If your car ever overheats, turn the heat and the fan up to high [he probably said to pull over immediately but I ignored that part] and when you stop, do NOT open the radiator cap until it has cooled down."

I did exactly what Dad told me (minus the part about pulling over immediately). I was a few blocks away from our neighborhood garage, no lights came on (I am now wondering why not?!) so I pulled into a parking spot there and called them in the morning.

The diagnosis has been made. The water pump went (he assured me this is something you can rarely see coming), the car overheated so now the radiator cap is not holding pressure, antifreeze went all over the place so a new belt is required and the check engine light indicated an "oxygen sensor code" error. For a mere $844.75, I will be back on the road later today. "Well, that's cheaper than a new car!" was my response. "Maybe I should splurge on a new windshield after all? [I have a stone chip that needs to be tended and the entire windshield is pitted]"

This unexpected expense is coming at the tail end of my renovation spending which sadly went several thousands of dollars over my ability to pay. As I stretched my budget to the max I was concerned about the fact that I had no leeway left in my savings and budgeting to allow for anything unexpected. "What if something happens to my car?" I lamented.

The unexpected happened. But it could have been so very much worse.

• I broke down at the END of my day
• It gave me a "remembering Dad" moment (always a gift)
• I was able to make it to the garage - no tow truck cost was necessary
• The car is repairable. Though the breakdown was rather large on the scale of things, I didn't have to weigh the option of "replace" over "repair"
• I was close to home! Just a few days prior, we were driving down country roads which would have resulted in a completely different scenario
• I can afford this! Even though I don't have any expendable cash at the moment, I can make this work (I will just have to borrow a little more from my son's University Savings in order to do so)
• I was able to keep driving and was not stranded in any way, shape or form
• I was able to borrow my son's car while mine was down for repairs. Thankfully it was available as long as I needed with little expense besides topping up the gas tank and power steering fluid
• I handled this myself. I seem to have my middle son on speed dial when it comes to dealing with minor emergencies but I DIDN'T call him. This shouldn't feel as big as it does but I feel empowered knowing I didn't need anyone's assistance except my friendly neighborhood mechanic

See how an unfortunate set of events became all about feeling incredibly lucky that things turned out exactly the way they did? It's all in the way you spin your story. You can feel fortunate things didn't turn out worse or you can focus on all that went wrong. I choose to feel fortunate. I truly believe this to be true.

Now ... I just have to spin a tale to figure out a way to see my newly stained deck in a manner that doesn't look so "green". Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was sold the wrong product and SHOULD have had the stain for pressure treated wood to alleviate the green tones. Now all I see is GREEN. I can hear Kermit the Frog singing "It isn't easy being green..."

"But if green is all there is to be

It could make you wonder why, but why wonder, why wonder

I'm green and it'll do fine

And it's beautiful and I think it's what I want to be."

Songwriters: RAPOSO JOSEPH G

It's All in the Details

It is the littlest of things that can make the biggest of differences. I find this to be true in almost any aspect of living this quiet little life of mine.

Customer service can make or break a company's reputation. I love spreading good customer service stories and they linger in my consciousness long after the moment has past. One good experience buys customer loyalty, good word-of-mouth advertising (the best form of advertising in my humble opinion) and it simply feels good to be on the receiving end of an experience where you have been treated with kindness.

It is that simple.

On the other hand, I have had a few situations lately which left a sour taste in my mouth. In both cases, I followed up and spoke with a different employee after I slept on my thoughts and woke up feeling like I had a worthy complaint. 

My intent was to #1 - find out if my concerns were valid and #2 - voice my experience in the hope that an issue may be addressed and may prevent this from happening to others.

As frustrating as it was, I tried to put myself in the other guy's shoes. Did I have a tone in my voice that could have been taken as confrontational? Did I phrase my words properly so I was understood? Was it me? Or could the other guy have been having an off day? 

I worked in a customer service industry for decades. I feel like one of my strongest traits in that job was providing good customer service. I could handle complaints in a manner which left me feeling I had done the best I could with the situation at hand. 

There was one disclaimer though. As long as the person was not complaining about ME, I could take a step back, be unbiased, listen and attempt to resolve the problem. If the complaint WAS about me, I immediately felt like I was being attacked, my defenses went up and I felt an irrational amount of guilt. My actions were emotion based instead of service based. 

Acting and speaking when emotion is driving the car is rarely a good thing. Perhaps that is why, even as the customer, I don't REact. I try to give myself time and space and ACT when my head is a little clearer and my emotions are in the back seat.

So very many of my experiences are positive ones yet it is the emotion driving the negative ones that give them so much power. 

I cannot end this post on a negative note such as this. Let me tell you some excellent customer service stories:

• My friendly, neighborhood mechanic who treats me so well. I take my car to him in sickness and in health and he always treats my concerns as well as he treats my car. Kudos to those who take care of the people behind their problems!
• Costco, whose customer service team went above and beyond the call of duty. They listened to my story (and my stories are rarely short!), empathized with my situation and did everything in their power to resolve it. I walked out to the store thinking "That company must treat their employees well and it has trickled down to excellent customer service!"
• The employee at our home security company who was the unlucky soul to be on the receiving end of my call. I had been trying to get through to this company for days. There is nothing more disconcerting than being unable to speak to someone who is handling your home's security (then again, I had been calling an old contact number so I was also to blame). By the time I reached this poor girl, bright and early one morning, my one question had morphed into about six PLUS the emotion behind my frustration was evident. I apologized to her and said I was sorry - probably her very first call of the day and I was bombarding her with questions of all kinds - and she was handling it so well. She just laughed and said, "You're so funny ..." and added a comment which made me feel she appreciated the acknowledgement. Employees who are on the other end of a telephone line have a thankless job at times - people aren't as kind when they can't see who they are talking with. It's a tough job. I appreciate those who can do it so well!
• A Sobey's grocery cashier, who sees hundreds upon hundreds of customers throughout the day/week, who acknowledged and recognized me as a regular customer, "You come in here all the time!". And I am only there once a week or less. Hooray to those who work tirelessly and still take time to notice the little things!
• Almost all those who worked on our home this year (there was one snarky shingle installer who soured the experience a bit). I was treated with courtesy, respect, kindness and good humor. Even when I voiced a negative concern, I was treated positively and (except for the above noted case) the situation was resolved. Some of the best customer service is recognized by overcoming customer objections. I am grateful to all who listen and look after the little things to do the job right!
• A waitress who was called in to work on her night off and had let down her family as she was required to work at the last minute. We only found out about this because out of the blue, she simply apologized to us and went on to serve another table. When she came back, we asked her why she was sorry and she quickly explained. She introduced herself to us when we sat down and I actually remembered her name. She beamed like a ray of sunshine when she realized this and responded, "Thank you! For making me feel seen!" 

We all need to feel "seen". In good times and in bad. On the receiving end and providing customer service. The smallest of things can make the biggest difference. It's all in the details.

You just don't know what is going on in another person's life. Simple kindnesses go such a long way. I would like to end this post using Ellen Degeneres' catch phrase, "Be kind to one another!" 

Invitations, Rentals and a Steamin' Hot Car

The morning has taken on a life of its own with little time left to write.

Final invitation emails and text messages for a family gathering have been sent. I labor over these things more than I should. Thankfully I started formulating my thoughts yesterday morning. I finished them up and sent them off this morning.

My invitations have been fairly well received so I believe it would make for a more leisurely afternoon/evening of visiting if ample tables and chairs are provided. I found some. They are available. There is the small detail of delivery though. It's those small details that trip you up, isn't it?

I was turning off on my way home from work last night when I smelled a "poof" of antifreeze; followed by smoke (I believe it was steam but my heart felt "smoke"). I fear I may have let my antifreeze reservoir run dry (my bad!!! - no excuse for that) but I got the car to my friendly, neighborhood mechanic to ensure I didn't ruin anything by driving a few more minutes (and to double check my diagnosis). This may or may not end well ..

So much to do ... so little time to squeeze it all in.

I could have been on holidays this week. Sigh.

Yesterday

What happened to the weekends I wasted away doing a lot of nothing? I don't know if I miss them or if this whole "sense of accomplishment" thing is becoming addictive.

My original plan was to be on holidays this week. My hope was to have all the house/yard exterior maintenance complete so I could simply sit back and admire where things are at.

I had visions of the house and garage exteriors being taken care of, sitting back and seeing nothing but the unstained deck and dead grass. Well, Mother Nature did her part and the grass is holding its own. So I kept up my end of the bargain and did my part too.

The deck (I decided a second coat was required) is done. Again.

I picked up some deck revival product to prepare the fence boards for staining. I decided to try out the product on a weathered eleven year old bench we have. I should have taken a before picture. But I didn't. Here is the "after" shot. It looks brand new again: 

Fueled with enthusiasm from this successful project, I decided the gate and small fenced area by the back door would be a manageable task. Here is a before/after picture of what this product can do. The dark grey section between the gate and the rest of the fence is what the entire area looked like before:

Here is the completed job outside the yard. Ready, waiting and thirsty for a coat of stain:

I came in at the end of a long day outside, made supper, had a shower and vacuumed cat hair. There was a time (perhaps last month) when a day like this would most definitely be an excuse not to cook. What is happening to me?!?

If only I was on holidays this morning, I could simply sit back and admire the efforts of a rather productive long weekend. Holidays? I am so ready for you. Maybe next weekend.

The Wonders of Nature

We were driving home from the lake yesterday afternoon and I spotted a flock of pelicans. I felt the awe of the moment and shared my amazement with my son. 

My youngest son is a pretty stoic guy and the word "excited" does not describe his nature the vast majority of the time. I believe he quietly shakes his head with some of my observations and the wonders of the world around us. His comment to me was that having a daycare sure made me appreciate nature.

My response to him came easy and is 100% what I believe. "That is what I loved about my daycare days. There is nothing like seeing the world through the eyes of a child, noticing things for the first time."

I remember the time my oldest son and I were camping with literally nothing around us but nature. We noticed an industrious colony of ants. I have the greatest admiration for those hard working insects. During my daycare days, I fondly remember the number of times we would stop a walk in progress to marvel at the load a tiny ant had on its back. 

Up and coming easily amazed children gave me an excuse to stop and marvel at the smallest of things. 

I spent Saturday morning outside breathing in the day with our cats. I have numerous pictures of our cats enjoying the day (though I wasn't fast enough to capture our senior cat in residence as he noticed/chased the small moths in the grass and the kitten I saw in his actions), but it was the bird calls that caught my attention.

This chatty robin seemed to be keeping his eye on the activity within our yard and was sending out warnings to all his friends and family that there were cats on the loose:

There was more than one bird in this tree at the time I took the picture. I wondered if I would be able to zoom in and find it in a Where's Waldo kind of way. Here is a close up to the chatty robin:

As my family canoed and kayaked on the lake yesterday, I was lucky enough to get to sit on the beach and simply marvel at the world around me. Once again, I have an arsenal of pictures of my family on the water but I got that feeling of child-like awe when I spotted a pelican:

The pelican never got any closer but thanks to modern technology, I could zoom in on him too:

I have offered to spend some time out at my son's farm and oversee their two dogs, two rabbits and twenty two cats while they go on vacation. As we visited yesterday, I had my eyes on the nature-viewing spots on their deck and found myself anticipating this upcoming retreat and quiet oasis away from it all.

There is truly nothing like looking into the landscape and taking in the wonders of nature. I just wish it didn't include ticks!

Peaceful Easy Feeling

I am stepping into the day with a "peaceful easy feeling" ...

The melody to the song the Eagles made famous wafted through my mind. I mindlessly looked up the lyrics to see if there was more to the music than the melody. And there was.

" 'Cause I got a peaceful easy feelin'

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standin'

On the ground "

~ Songwriter Jack Tempchin ~

These lyrics speak loudly to the way I feel about life as I know it.

I listen to the world around me, those who stand on their platforms and spew negativity, those who skew the truths of the world around them and focus on the negative and basically the words that cycle through my consciousness and plant seeds of doubt and infect my thoughts. 

I keep coming back to this "peaceful easy feeling". Others won't let me down. Because I'm already standing on the ground.

I feel grounded. I feel rooted in family, friends and community. I have faith that everything will work out okay. I feel safe, secure and happy within the world I live in. I'm already standing on the ground.

I hope to spread this feeling and infect others with this peaceful easy feeling. It is one small way I hope to make a mark within this world I live in.

May the ground beneath your feet feel solid, safe and comforting. May you have a peaceful, easy day.